A Taste of Fire and Ice
by Lady Lestrange
Summary: Ginny and Draco know that their parents will never understand their love. Their families have opposite values: love or money; rich or poor; good or evil--How can they ever come together, when they don't even seem to live in the same world? Draco decide
1. Default Chapter

**A Taste of Fire and Ice**

**By Lady Lestrange**

**Disclaimer:**  The characters in this story belong to the wonderful JK Rowlings.  No infringement is meant or implied. Thanks JK.

**SUMMARY**:   Ginny and Draco know that their parents will never understand their love.  Their parents don't even live in the same world.  Draco decides they need to live in each other's world. Thus, with a little help from Snape, Draco supposedly brews a potion that will give Lucius a little of Arthur's easy-going attitude.  However, Draco decides to take matters a bit further and with the potion, Arthur Weasley and Lucius Malfoy switch lives.  Ala Freaky Friday or Wish Upon a Star, see how the two men deal with each others' lives and each others children, and –erm, their wives.

**~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 1**

Ginny had lain with her head on his shoulder last night and cried.  They had hid until their passion for each other could no longer be hidden.  Then they fought the prejudice between Slytherin and Gryffindor, each standing up for the other and venturing onto turf that traditionally belonged to the opposite house.  Eventually, they conquered most of their friends' objections and ignored the rest, but they had not broached the subject of their love to their families. Even Ginny's Gryffindor bravery couldn't surmount the fear in both of their hearts. The words Ginny had said rolled round and round Draco's head.  

"Your father and my father will never understand. They don't even live in the same world, Draco. It's hopeless." 

"Do you want to marry me?" Draco asked.

Lips trembling, she said, "There's a difference between wanting and having. I learned that long ago."

But unlike Ginny, Draco was not used to hearing that he couldn't have what he wanted, and that included Ginny Weasley. In Draco's mind, the difference between wanting and having was only a matter of time. There had to be a way. If their parents could just understand—but they wouldn't understand. He knew that there was no way to explain their love to either of their parents. 

Secretly, Draco felt that he had it more difficult than Ginny.  After all, Arthur Weasley might rant and refuse his daughter some treat, but he wouldn't hurt her. Lucius Malfoy was as likely to throw Cruciatus at his son than anyone else. Well, that wasn't exactly true, Draco corrected himself.  Lucius Malfoy had only _Crucioed_ Draco once in his life and that was when he had called the Dark Lord _'just a miserable mudblood.'_  His father was probably afraid that he would let something like that slip in Voldemort's presence and then the whole family would likely end up dead.

Contrary to popular belief, Lucius Malfoy actually loved his family, at least as much as any Slytherin loves. After all, he bought the whole damned Quidditch team brooms when Draco hadn't even caught the snitch.  His son and his wife had the best of everything, if that wasn't love, he didn't know what was. And, thought Draco, that was exactly the problem. Since he had been dating Ginny, he started to see a different kind of love, the kind that couldn't be bought. He made himself remember that the only reason he was doing this was to show Lucius Malfoy the world of Arthur Weasley, in the hopes that his father would consent to the marriage of his only son to a Weasley, but secretly he hoped a bit of that love Weasley love might rub off.  

It certainly had softened him. As he looked through the potions books in the restricted section, he actually felt a pang of guilt. This was wrong.  He had no right to do this to his father. Then he saw the potion he needed and he smirked. Thoughts of right and wrong flew right out of his head. He was, after all, a Malfoy, and he was going to get what he wanted. He wondered how he and Ginny would get their fathers' hair for the potion, but he was sure he could manage it.

As he thumbed down the page, his elation vanished. This was a hard potion. The ingredients were specialized and he had almost none of them in his students' stores. That wasn't really a problem.  He had an account he could use at the apothecary, but if his father recognized the ingredients when he got the bill—Draco shivered.  That wasn't an eventuality that he wanted to see. Besides the ingredients, the potion itself was complicated. The level of difficulty was listed at the top of the page, not sixth, seventh or even A for advanced. The difficulty was marked M for Master. This was a potion to be brewed by a potions master, not a disgruntled seventh year.

He flipped to the next page, hoping for an easier potion. There wasn't one. Everything seemed to point to the fact that "relationship" potions were the most complicated potions, right up there with experimental potions like wolfsbane and vampire potions, all of which were still in the process of being improved upon. Draco sighed, his eyes running down the ingredients of the next potion, a Personality Potion. Many of the ingredients were the same as on the previous page. He flipped back a couple of times, comparing and then smiled. There were only two differences in the ingredients, and on the next page was an antidote. The antidote took a month to make. Well, thought Draco, a month should be long enough.  He smiled. Since the potion needed a potions master, Draco decided he'd better go see his potions master. 

With a smirk on his face, he tucked the book under his arm and headed to the desk to check out his book.  Being a prefect did have some advantages, he thought as he smiled at Ms. Pince. "Only one from the restricted section?" she questioned.  "Is Virginia still pestering you to give up the dark arts?"

"Yes," said Draco noncommittally.

Ms. Pince just shook her head and said, "Don't try to brew any of these without Professor Snape's supervision. Most of them can go horribly wrong, and not all of them are reversible."

"I understand," said Draco.  "I'm going to Professor Snape right now."

"Very good." She smiled at him and handed him his book.

++

It was in reality several days before Draco actually got the nerve to take the book to Snape. He didn't know exactly how to ask his professor for help without sounding horribly whiny, but after a particularly hot night with Ginny, he found he had strengthened his resolve. 

"What is it, Draco?" Snape asked as Draco hovered at the doorway clutching the book.

Snape frowned. "Get in here. Close the door," he growled.

Draco shuffled inside and shut the door as he was instructed.  

"Sit down," Snape said. It wasn't an invitation. It was an order. Snape sounded so much like his father in that moment, that Draco almost backed out entirely, but Snape held out his hand for the book and silently Draco gave it to him.  

Draco felt the beating of his pulse in his throat as Snape opened the book. Draco had charmed it to fall open to the potion he wanted.  Without fail, it did so. Snape looked at the potion personality-altering potion, scanning the page quickly and when he looked up, an evil smirk was on his face.

"For your father?" Snape surmised.

Draco nodded.  He didn't trust himself to speak.

To Draco's surprise, Snape started to laugh. He threw back his head and laughed until tears where running down his cheeks. When he had finished laughing he was wiping tears from his eyes and Draco wasn't sure if he was laughing at the thought of his father having a different personality or whether he was laughing at Draco's attempt to even brew the potion.   

"I won't brew this for you, Draco," Snape said, and Draco's hopes fell. "I can't be a party to students' pranks."

"It's not a prank," Draco blurted.  "I just want him to understand what it's like—How other people feel—Just once I want him to say he—he's proud of me."

Snape looked at him for a long time. "You need a template for the personality you want," said Snape.

"Then you will help me?"

"No, but I will see to it that you don't poison Lucius," said Snape dryly.  "Who will you use for a template?"

"Arthur Weasley," said Draco and Snape looked very thoughtful. 

"You might want to invite Miss Weasley to this potion brewing," said Snape.  "It has to be stirred continuously. It's easier to brew with a partner."

"Thank you, Sir," said Draco formally, and just as formally, Snape nodded.  

"Tomorrow at 7:00," he said.

"Yes, Sir."

++

The potion was just as hard as Draco thought it would be, and took longer.  When all the ingredients were added, Snape told them to continue to stir it until the potion turned blue, then it could be bottled, but while Ginny distracted Snape, Draco added the last two ingredients which turned the potion from the Temporary Personality Altering potion to a Personality Switch Potion. Quickly he cast a charm to make the potion the same deep blue as the picture in the book.  

He wasn't afraid of getting caught doing the charm.  He had done it before in class, and this wasn't a class.  Even in class, he didn't think of it as cheating, he thought of it as a sort of cross training. After all, it wasn't much different than using a wakefulness potion to study for a History of Magic test or using a hex instead of a charm. Whatever got the job done. Draco fell asleep that night feeling very pleased with himself.

Lucius Malfoy and Arthur Weasley both came to the Slytherin-Gryffindor Quidditch game. At the end of the game, both Ginny and Draco slipped some of the potion into their father's drinks: Ginny into Arthur's pumpkin juice and Draco into his father's firewhiskey. Later that night, Draco and Ginny met in a deserted classroom to celebrate their success. Both were disappointed that there was no way they could be at home to witness the transformation.

++

Arthur Weasley awoke because he was cold. His blanket had slipped off of him during the night. Without opening his eyes, he felt the cold smoothness of the sheets.  Why were they cold? He wondered, rolling over, his arms seeking Molly's warm buxom body.  It wasn't there. He opened his eyes and blinked. He was lying on the biggest bed he had ever seen and wrapped around him were satin sheets:  black satin sheets embroidered with the green letter M and a silver snake.  He sucked in his breath and dove for the nightstand where he kept his wand. Obviously some dark magic was at work! 

Unfortunately, there was no nightstand and no wand.  Arthur leaped to his feet, and promptly bumped his head on the brass snake that held the linen canopy.  Immediately he felt the sting of a stunning spell and fell flat on the floor unconscious.

When he awoke sometime later, a rough papery hand was holding his. "Master must wakes," squeaked a tiny voice. "Master has important meetings. Master has important business. Ple-e-ease, Master wakes. Master mustn't sleep on the floor."

Arthur Weasley cracked open an eye. A large misshapen house elf was patting his hand anxiously. Reflexively, he yanked his hand away and the elf leaped to the canopy squeaking shrilly.

"Master musts hurry.  Master musts," begged the elf, hanging from the canopy like a monkey.

"Where's my wand?" demanded Arthur, coming to his feet.  He was still certain that some dark magic was at work here.  

The house elf scrambled off of the canopy and pulled a wand from under the pillow, thirteen inches of ebony and turned it butt first to Arthur. Arthur took it slowly wondering whose wand this was, and yet recognizing it from a dozen childhood curses.

The house elf had curled into a squeaking shivering ball once Arthur took the wand.  "Master doesn't have time to punish, Tully, now." It squeaked.  "Master is late. Yes, Master is."

Arthur felt stunned and slightly sick as he walked to the full length mirror.  He knew what he was going to see, but actually seeing Lucius Malfoy's just awakened face staring back at him was still a vision of hell.

"Master is late," the elf squeaked again.

"Late for what?" asked Arthur.

"Working this morning," said the elf.  "Master musts hurry"

"OK," said Arthur hesitantly, and the elf scrambled over to the bureau pulling out fresh robes.  

"Tully helps Master to dress?" asked the elf. "Hurry."

"No—I" And then it dawned on Arthur that if he woke up in Malfoy Manor that perhaps, just perhaps, that Snake woke up next to his Molly. "Yes!  Hurry!"  he said.

And the elf snapped his fingers leaving Arthur clean, dressed, hair combed and ready to go to work, but Arthur wasn't going to work.  He was going home.  He raised his wand to Apparate and then realized that there were probably wards.  Hell, if the man warded his bed, he definitely warded his house. Instead Arthur took several steps to the fireplace, grabbed the nearest urn and attempted to open it thinking it should have floo powder in it.

While he was trying to pry off the stuck lid, he became aware of the click-click of heels on a marble hall floor.  

"Lucius?" came as soft feminine voice. The sound of her long drawling vowels and clipped consonant made his skin crawl. "What are you doing with Aunt Lillith's ashes?"

"I sleep with Aunt Lillith's ashes in my room?" blurted Arthur.

"She was your favorite aunt," remarked Narcissa. Eyes narrowing, she asked, "Were you _away_, last night?"

The way she said "away" sounded like she and Lucius had some sort of understanding about where "away" was. Arthur didn't want to think about what that might mean.  Especially he didn't want to think about the fact that his wife was probably currently with that Death Eater.

"I—ah—have to go," said Arthur looking around the room. The floo powder had to be somewhere around. "Where's the floo powder?" he asked.

"You can't travel by floo in those robes," admonished Narcissa.  "They will be covered with soot. Why aren't you Apparating?"

"I-I guess I can," Arthur said.

"What sort of curse are you under?" Narcissa demanded. 

"None," said Arthur hurrying out the door. He took several quick steps into the hall when he realized that he didn't know where he was. He had no idea which way down the long corridor was the door or apparition point.

He paused and turned around noticing Narcissa standing at the doorway looking at him.  "Confundus?" she asked.

"Maybe," he lied, now desperate to get to Molly. "Just tell me which way is the door," he snapped.

Narcissa gestured in the opposite direction. "But there is an Apparition point at the end of the corridor." 

She gestured the other way, and Arthur ran the length of the corridor unmindful of how ridiculous he looked to Narcissa. When he got to the end of the corridor he raised his wand to Apparate. Immediately bars like snakes hissed up from the ground.  Apparently that was how the Malfoy's welcomed someone who Apparated into their home. Not very hospitable, thought Arthur as he Disapparated.

++

Lucius Malfoy found himself in bed with a rather rotund wench in a ratty flannel nightgown. She had curled her plump body tight up against him and was sleepily groping him. His first thought was whatever he paid for her it was too much, but Lucius didn't get to the financial heights he currently enjoyed by wasting money.  He must have been very drunk when he bought her. With that thought, he grasped the woman next to him intending to roll her over with him to a more comfortable position, and he rolled both of them directly off of the very small bed and onto the very hard floor.

The woman screeched, "Arthur!" Then, giggling, she pressed herself against him, kissing him passionately. He actually found himself responding until he registered that the woman had called him Arthur, and he opened his eyes sputtering against her lips.

"M-Molly Weasley!" he gasped, pulling away from her. He was completely at a loss for words, but that didn't seem to bother her. She looped her finger in the top of his only garment, a pair of graying cotton briefs, and whispered huskily, "You still have twenty minutes before you have to get ready for work."

He scrambled to his feet yanking the sheet off of the bed to cover his near nakedness.  The sheet, which had seen better days, ripped down the middle and he was left standing with a scrap that wasn't big enough to cover him.  Nonetheless, he was a Malfoy, he drew himself up to his six foot three height, and said, "Madam," he said, "Calm yourself.  It is this sort of irresponsible behavior that has brought too many children into this world to live in this hovel."

"Oh bravo," she cheered.  "You've almost got it, Arthur. A little more sneer and you'll sound just like that stuffed shirt, Lucius Malfoy, but—" she proceeded to straighten the covers on the bed.  "I know, your cherubic face doesn't sneer well."  She gave him a quick peck on the cheek "Anyway, we don't have time for me to play the ice queen. Help me with this."  She pulled on the blanket.  "Penelope is bringing the twins over."

"What!" he said incensed. "You—you play M-Malfoy?"

She ignored him as she walked around him straightening the bedclothes and picking up dirty socks off of the floor. He tried to follow her for a moment, dragging the sheet, thinking if only he had a wand he would _Crucio_ the wench for the audacity to think that she could possibly playact Malfoys.

"Give me this," said Molly, pulling the piece of sheet off of him.  "I don't suppose I can sew it back together.  I'll just sew it into the quilt. Don't worry about it, Luv."  She smacked him on his ass and proceeded to take off her hideous flannel nightgown.

Quickly he turned around.  The very thought of seeing Molly Weasley naked was enough to turn one's stomach, but as he stood very still he found himself looking at his own stomach.  It protruded a good six inches over the waistband of the graying briefs and was covered with a fine spray of very red hair and freckles. "Where are my clothes?" he growled pulling open the first drawer in front of him.  In it were Molly's very sensible cotton under garments.  

"Right here, on the nightstand with your wand, Luv," said Molly.  "You know if I don't lay them out for you you'll never match.  Go on," she pushed him forward.  "Go and get your shower.  It's nearly eight o'clock."

"Eight o'clock!" snapped Lucius.  "I'm late."  He snatched up the wand offered to him, did a quick cleaning spell on himself and magically donned the robes. He Apparated a spare thirty seconds later, leaving Molly staring after him with a puzzled look on her face.

++

Arthur Weasley did not stop outside of his house to straighten his impeccable robes.  He did not stop to ring the bell that told those inside that someone wanted entrance to the burrow.  He didn't stop to think how he was going to convince Molly that he was not  Lucius Malfoy, but her own Arthur.  His only thought was to get that Death Eater away from his Molly.

He flung open the door and when he saw Molly rush from the kitchen his only thought was to hug her in relief.

"You're safe!" he cried, pulling her into his arms. 

"You're daft," she said pulling out of his embrace and focusing her wand at his nose.

Eyes narrowed she glared at him.  "Now state your business, Mr. Malfoy, and then get out of my house." 

 "Molly, I just wanted to be sure you're safe.  It's me, Arthur.  I love you," said Arthur, but Molly stared at his white blonde hair in horror.

"You are daft," she repeated.

++

Lucius Malfoy thought nothing of the fact that his bright red hair and ruddy face would not be recognized by the wards of Malfoy Unlimited, Inc.  He Apparated directly to the Office of the President like he always did.  He was promptly hexed for his trouble.  However, Lucius Malfoy, a man with many enemies, and used to dodging hexes, expertly blocked the several of the automatic curses that came his way.  After all he was the one who set them.  Although he was up the challenge, his Unicorn hair wand was not.  After the first three curses blocked, the wand fizzled in his hand and the spell popped out of it harmlessly sounding nothing so much as a bit of flatulence.  Lucius Malfoy physically ducked the spell, but ran right into one of his own burly security guards who gripped his arms tightly saying "Hold it right there, Laddie.  We're going to be taking a trip downtown."

"Get your filthy hands off of me you imbecile," growled Lucius.  "I'm the President of this company and if you know what's good for you—"

"Right," interrupted the guard, "and I'm the Queen of England."

"You're fired!" snarled Lucius, lifting the Unicorn hair wand and wondering what was the most vicious curse the wand would handle.

"Arthur?"  said a confused voice down the corridor.  "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to get into this office," snapped Lucius, entirely at the end of his patience.  "I have a meeting.  If this moron would just listen—"

"It's OK, Ned," said the man to the security guard.  "I'll take care of this."

"Very good, Sir," replied the guard.

"What's your name?" Lucius demanded of the security guard.  "Ned Paxton."

"You're still fired," said Lucius before he turned to the man who rescued him.  "Do I know you?" he asked with a frown.

"Arthur are you feeling alright?  You look a bit flushed."

"I'm fine," snapped Lucius.  "Now who the hell are you?"

"The person that kept you from getting hauled off to jail for breaking and entering," said the man coldly.  "and don't think that Lucius Malfoy would go easy on you Arthur.  That man is a hard assed tyrant who would send his own son to the dementors if it made him a galleon."

Lucius sputtered.  "Wha—"

"I'm telling you," the man said comraderly, "he is a demon.  I had enough dealings with him during that caldron fiasco—Do you think he cared that seven kids had been burned by potions leaking from ruptured caldrons?  No.  All he cared about was the extra sickle he made from the cheaper material."

"Caldwell," breathed Lucius. "You're Calvin Caldwell of Caldwell Caldrons."

"I knew you would remember me," said the man with a smile.  "Your son, Percy did me a service pushing that litigation through on the caldron thicknesses.  You know, the Malfoys would have just kept making them thinner and thinner until some poor bloke got his eyes blown out when the damned thing exploded over an open flame.  I probably wouldn't be in business today if it weren't for your son."

"You won't be in business tomorrow anyway," snarled Lucius.  "You're mortgaged to the hilt and a hostile take-over by Malfoy Unlimited is in process."

The man froze.  "How do you know about that?" he asked.

"I know," said Lucius coldly,  "Because I am Lucius Malfoy, and you dug your grave, Calwell when you messed with Malfoy Unlimited."

"Have you and Molly been having financial problems?" asked Caldwell.  "I know the stress of raising seven children must be staggering.  I'm about in St. Mungos with just three."  He paused sympathetically.  "I'm going to take you home, Arthur" said Calvin Caldwell.  "Doubtless Molly is worried about you.  Is it just stress, or did you get hit with some sort of confundus charm?"

"The next person who asks if I got hit with a confundus charm is going to be picking themselves off of the floor," snarled Lucius, waving his wand threateningly, although it's hard to be very threatening with a Unicorn hair wand.

"Let's go to your house," said Caldwell, and Lucius sighed.  Since he was barred from entering his own office, perhaps the best thing to do would be to try to speak with Arthur Weasley.  No doubt this whole fiasco was a prank done by those delinquent twins of his.  He would see the prats in reform school if he had anything to say about it, and of course he did have something to say about it.  He was a Malfoy.

He Apparated to the burrow to find the replica of himself in a leg locker curse, holding a dead rooster by its feet, and snarling that he was going to "ground those boys till they were forty."  His own ebony wand was held by a tearful Molly Weasley, who promptly dropped it and rushed to him, throwing her arms around him sobbing.

"Oh Arthur!" she said.  "He was just horrible.  H-He tried to kiss me. I know I shouldn't have done it.  I mean with his money I'll probably end up in Azkaban for cursing him, but I just couldn't—and then he put his wand on the table and I switched it for one of the twins' trick wands.  Oh I love those boys—"   She cried copiously on Lucius Malfoy's shoulder, thinking that the man was her husband..

Lucius Malfoy hesitantly patted Molly Weasley's back, as he looked at the glowering, trapped Arthur Weasley.  "Go into the house—er--Dear," he said. "I'll deal with—_Mr. Malfoy."_  He had trouble saying those words since that miserable muggle lover was certainly not him, even though he was wearing Malfoy skin.

"Oh, I love you," said Molly grasping his cheeks and planting a hot wet kiss on his astounded lips. _Mr. Weasley _threw the rooster at him while Mr. Malfoy tried to remember when someone had told him that they loved him.  Bah—it didn't matter. 

Lucius Malfoy stalked around the trapped Mr. Weasley, staying just out of reach,  while the bound man growled his fury.  "What Dark Magic is this?" snarled Arthur Weasley, struggling against his wife's spell.

"Mr. Weasley,  this most certainly isn't _my_ fault," drawled Malfoy.  "This is no doubt the work of your delinquent twin sons." He sneered at the dead rooster lying at his feet.  "The same ones that left you with a rooster for a wand," said Malfoy, "although I doubt it is much different from this Unicorn hair garbage you use.  At least a rooster can defeat a basilisk, which is more than this piece of shit can do."  He shook the ineffectual wand under Mr. Weasley's nose.

"Give it to me," snapped Arthur, and "I'll show you what it can do."

"I'm going to remove the curse your wife put on you," said Malfoy, narrowing his eyes. "And then the two of us are going to Apparate to Hogwarts, get this spell reversed,  and  then I will see those sons of yours punished for this prank.   You obviously don't know how to control your delinquent children. If they were mine, they wouldn't be able to pick up a wand when I was done with them, much less use it in such an irresponsible way.  If you were any kind of man—"

"Don't tell me about being a man, you snake," snapped Arthur.  "And I will deal with my own children."

"You haven't done very well so far," drawled Malfoy, although you seem to have your wife fairly well trained.  Malfoy smirked.

Arthur struggled harder against his wife's curse, and at last, Malfoy freed him, saying "We both have been through quite a lot today.  Don't press your luck, Weasley.  I'm not in a good mood."

"Let's just get this over with," agreed Arthur.  "I want my family back."

"And I want my business back," said Malfoy.  

The two of them arrived at Hogwarts just as the students were arriving for lunch.

++

"Albus," said Lucius Malfoy striding forward as fast as Arthur's short legs would take him.  "I must speak with you."

"Certainly, Arthur," said Albus, looking from Lucius to Arthur and back again.  "I must say, it's a pleasant surprise to see the two of you in each other's company."

"No it isn't," snarled Lucius.

"For once," said Arthur, "I must agree with Lucius Malfoy."

"Oh dear," said the Headmaster as he realized that who he thought was Lucius Malfoy was addressing himself in the third person.  "Is something wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes!" said both Lucius Malfoy and Arthur Weasley together.

"I may be able to shed some light on that subject," said Snape, who had glided silently up beside them.  "Perhaps we should speak in private, Albus."


	2. Chapter 2

**A Taste of Fire and Ice**

**By Lady Lestrange**

**Disclaimer:** The characters in this story belong to the wonderful JK Rowlings. No infringement is meant or implied. Thanks JK.

**SUMMARY**: Ginny and Draco know that their parents will never understand their love. Their parents don't even live in the same world. Draco decides they need to live in each other's world. Thus, with a little help from Snape, Draco supposedly brews a potion that will give Lucius a little of Arthur's easy-going attitude. However, Draco decides to take matters a bit further and with the potion, Arthur Weasley and Lucius Malfoy switch lives. Ala Freaky Friday or Wish Upon a Star, see how the two men deal with each others' lives and each others children, and –erm, their wives.

Chapter 2 

At the sight of her father and Mr. Malfoy, Ginny Weasley decided she was not hungry for lunch. She stood and started toward the door, but Luna caught her hand as she passed the Ravenclaw table. "Should I warn Draco they are here?" she asked, but Ginny shook her head as she glanced across the Great Hall. Harry, Ron and Hermione had already waylaid him on his way into the Great Hall. Ginny hurried to his side. Lucius Malfoy's eyes followed her, and she wondered if that was really her father watching her, his eyes seemed so cold. She shivered thinking of how much Lucius Malfoy frightened her, and then she pulled herself together. After all, she wasn't a terrified first year any more, and if the man was going to be her father-in-law she had better get over her fear.

"Ginny," said Draco, catching her hand. "I think this means the potion worked."

She nodded.

"What potion?" asked Ron, frowning at Draco holding Ginny's hand. Although he had gotten over the "_I'm going to beat that Slytherin git to a pulp" stage_, Ron was certainly not happy about Ginny and Draco's relationship. However, his friends were slowly wearing him down. Although Harry and Hermione didn't like Draco much, they had ceased to continually remind Ginny of how Draco made their lives miserable for the first five years at Hogwarts.. Their overt complaints had mellowed to quiet tolerance and even occassional moments of acceptance. After all, Hermione had said, friends have to respect friends' decisions, even if they don't agree with them.

"So do you want us to bring you some food, then?" asked Hermione.

Ginny shook her head. 'We'll just get the house elves to give us something later. They love spoiling us—"

Hermione glowered at her. Ginny had forgotten about Hermione's feelings about house elves and S.P.E.W.

"Bye," said Ginny with a groan she pulled Draco out of the corridor, into a conveniently available empty classroom.

"I always forget about S,P,E,W,," said Ginny and Draco sniggered.

"Not something you will need to remember," he promised Ginny.

"Draco," said Ginny. "Tell me again why we made this potion?"

"So that your father and my father could experience how the 'other half' lives," said Draco, tucking a stray lock of red hair behind her ear. "and it looks like they are experiencing."

"It's not going to work," Ginny predicted. "Did you see them? They are at each other's throats, and it hasn't even been a whole day. If they find out we made the potion, they are going to kill us."

"Yes," Draco agreed blandly. "Considering my father's temper, that is a possibility."

"Draco!" snapped Ginny, smacking him on the arm.

"I was teasing," he said, "a light sparkling in his cool gray eyes. "He wouldn't kill me. I'm his only heir, you on the other hand—"

"Draco!" Ginny cried again, and he laughed. "This is exactly what we wanted to happen, Ginny. Relax." He turned her around and began to gently rub the tension from her neck. He let his lips trail down her neck. "Better?" he asked after a moment.

"Hmmm?" she purred, silently leaning her head back against his chest, but she sprang away from him, as the door creaked open.

"Ah, yes," said the Headmaster. "I thought I might find you here. Mr. Malfoy. Miss Weasley." His eyes were twinkling with mirth. "In spite of the opinion of some students, we do actually have classes in these classrooms."

"Yes, Headmaster," Ginny stuttered, blushing profusely. "We were just discussing—um—"

"Potions," Draco supplied coolly.

The Headmaster laughed quite unabashedly. "I see," he said. "Then you both realize that your fathers just paid me a visit. Personality Switch Potion is notoriously difficult to brew correctly," continued the Headmaster. "And when it is brewed correctly, it is a pale green in color, unlike Temporary Personality Altering potion which is midnight blue. Now, Professor Snape tells me he was quite sure that the potion you made was midnight blue, so how is it that your fathers are suffering not from a single hour of Temporary Personality Altering Potion, but from Personality Switch Potion which can only be countered by an antidote which takes a month to brew?"

Both Draco and Ginny stood staring at the floor, unable or unwilling to answer. "It was a charm," said Draco at last, "a charm to change the color of the potion."

"Alas," mourned the Headmaster tucking his hands into his robe sleeves. "What shall I do about this, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Give me extra credit in charms?" asked Draco cheekily.

"Oh, I can't do that," said the Headmaster, eyes twinkling merrily. "You will have to speak with Professor Flitwick about extra credit."

Ginny snorted and looked away. "Headmaster," she asked at last. "Are our Fathers still here? And still arguing? Are they—furious?"

"Oh yes," said the Headmaster. "I told Professor Snape I would have you come to the dungeon," he said. "He wanted to start the antidote right away."

"Why?" sputtered Ginny.

"Why to continue this little fiasco you started, Miss Weasley. Don't you remember your parents' rules of conduct. _Always finish what you start_. I'm sure your father is expecting you." He winked at her and continued to grin.

"Did Professor Snape tell them it was us?" asked Draco, worriedly.

"I don't know," said the Headmaster thoughtfully. "Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Malfoy, I don't know everything that happens at Hogwarts Castle. Off to the dungeon with you," he coached.

Draco rolled his eyes, thinking of Lockhart and Crouch and Moody. "And here I thought you were the all knowing Headmaster. I never would have known," Draco said in all seriousness, and Ginny snorted again. "You know that's what I love about you," said Draco as he placed an arm around her waist. "You laugh at my jokes."

"Is that all?" Ginny whispered seductively.

"Now the other reason I came to see you," Dumbledore continued, "Is to tell you that I convinced your fathers that they should attempt to keep each other's affairs in order in the next month. There is no point in this little incident being painful for either of them. It could be a bit of a vacation for each of them, and I told them so. Also," he continued with a frown, "The fewer people who know about this the better, so they will be on their best behavior."

"My father doesn't have a best behavior," countered Draco, but Dumbledore just winked and said, "I'm sure he'll find one." With twinkling eyes, he closed the door softly behind himself.

After Dumbledore left, Draco buried his head in the base of Ginny's curls and said, "I can't believe that Snape ratted on us, not after I paid him off.

"You paid him off!" said Ginny incredulously as she pushed away from Draco's hug to glare at him.

"Of course. I'm a Malfoy, aren't I? It cost me 5 galleons, two filibuster fireworks, and a case of ton tongue taffies."

"Fireworks? Taffies?" said Ginny. "Why would he want those?"

"Well the taffies are to shut up the sixth period Hufflepuffs, but he didn't ask for the filibuster firework. I just removed it from Longbottom's cauldron day before yesterday after Nott lit it. It was just a sign of good faith."

"And the other firework?" asked Ginny.

"Oh that's the one I put in your brother's cauldron."

"Draco! I thought we agreed that we were more mature than to prank each other's houses." She shook her head.

"Oh, we are," agreed Draco. "But Snape doesn't know that."

"And I never thought that Snape would take bribes."

"Are you kidding?" asked Draco. "Do you know how pitiful teacher's salaries are? It's a wonder the man can afford to live, much less live as a Slytherin."

"Well, maybe he didn't rat on us," said Ginny. "We'll just have to wait and see." They paused because they were at the dungeon door. "You go in first," said Ginny.

"What! You're the brave Gryffindor," said Draco, "You go in first."

Ginny put her hands on her hips and in her most commanding Molly Weasley voice, said, "Draco, I am not going to argue about this—"

"Good," he agreed, bowing elegantly as he gestured her into the dungeon.

"We both know your father is more dangerous—" hissed Ginny.

Suddenly the door swung open and they both fell into the room in an inelegant heap of arms and legs at Snape's feet.

"Get off of my daughter, you Slytherin scum," growled the visage of Lucius Malfoy, as he jumped to his feet, and tripped over the hem of his robe. Nonetheless, he recovered his balance and had taken several steps forward and propped his wand beneath Draco's chin.

"Honestly, Draco you have been taught better," drawled the red haired man who was sprawled in one of Snape's high back chairs. Unfortunately, the casual nonchalance that Lucius' body could affect, simply didn't happen when Arthur Weasley attempted the same pose. He didn't look nonchalant. He looked exhausted. He slouched a little more and then said, "Suppose you tell me what reason you have to torture me, Draco?"

"Father," said Draco with a formal bow to the red-haired man slumped in the chair. It seemed that there was no reason to try to continue the façade. Both of their parents knew what they had done. Draco knew from past experience that it was better to just face up and get it over with than to draw the punishment out to a little game of cat and mouse. The chase gave his father entirely too much pleasure. "Virginia Weasley and I love each other," said Draco. "We plan to be married, and we had hoped that—"

"That turning me into a ruddy pig would help your cause?" thundered Lucius Malfoy, dragging his chubby body into what would have been an imposing position if he had his own considerable height.

"My father is not a ruddy pig," protested Ginny as Malfoy, in her own father's body, yanked the unicorn wand from his pocket. A spell was on his lips when the thing turned into a rather slimy, smelly haddock. He flung it at his son, and whirled on Arthur Weasley who was giggling like a school boy while half heartedly holding his wand on Draco.

Ginny stood aghast. She had never seen Lucius Malfoy with a smile on his face, much less giggling. She exchanged amazed glances with Draco.

"Take off your cloak," Lucius snarled at Arthur.

"My cloak?" said Arthur, between giggles.

"Actually, my cloak," snapped Lucius. "I paid 102 galleons for the thing and I don't want it damaged when I tear you limb from limb."

"Now, just a minute," interrupted Ginny, taking a step forward in her father's defense. Now that she saw their parents' actions, it was impossible to mistake them for each other. Even though she was looking into her own father's brown eyes, they held the same cold glare that was Lucius Malfoy's and she hesitated just a moment before rushing onward with typical Gryffindor bravado. "My father didn't do anything to deserve that, Mr. Malfoy."

"Ginny!" said Arthur Weasley and Draco Malfoy in stereo as they both drew wands to protect her although neither used them since Lucius Malfoy was unarmed.

Reluctantly, Lucius seemed to reconsider his actions. An unarmed wizard faced with several wands trained on him did not bode well. He decided it was time to turn on the Malfoy charm.

"Severus," he said simply "There will be a hefty bonus if you can manage to speed up the brewing of that potion." He leaned forward nonchalantly and grasped the serpent head of his cane.

"I'm sorry—Lucius," said Snape with a frown, "Nothing can speed up the brewing." He turned busily to his cauldron and began adding ingredients.

"Alas," Dumbledore continued. "We shall have to make the best of it, gentlemen. Lemon drop?" He pulled a handful of the sweets from his robe pocket and offered them to the assembled wizards. "Oh, and Mr. Malfoy, you will have to refrain from using you cane," he said. "I'm sure you would rather keep the knowledge of this little incident from spreading through out the wizarding community."

After Albus Dumbledore had the wizards suitably pacified, he suggested that they go to their respective homes and try to fit in. "After all," he said. "It is only for a month."

"Very well," agreed Lucius Malfoy, "However, you will not be getting new brooms this year for the Quiddich team—"

"What!" said Draco.

"And furthermore, Draco, your cash flow is completely cut off for the remainder of this month."

"But—" began Draco, and then he smirked at the red-haired man addressing him. "You aren't my father."

"But I entirely agree with your father," said Arthur Weasley coldly, his voice sounding even colder coming from Lucius Malfoy's mouth.

"Dad!" Ginny complained, and then biting her lip, said, "Don't worry about it Draco. I certainly don't love you for your money.. It's still worth it." She stomped to the door as Dumbledore requested that Snape put a second cauldron on the fire.

"We shall see," said Lucius Malfoy ominously. "You will have to forbid Narcissa sending Draco owls with sweets and money," Lucius told Arthur. "You will need to give her some explanation—"

The smirk faded from Draco's face as Dumbledore ushered them into the corridor. "I believe you have classes to attend," he said as he closed the door behind them.

"I thought I would just tell Narcissa the truth," said Arthur. "I mean after all, she is your wife."

"Oh no," said Lucius, alarmed. "You mustn't tell her who you are!"

"But I'm sure she'll know I'm not you," said Arthur.

"No she won't," said Lucius. "But before you deal with Narcissa you have to chair the board meeting at Malfoy Unlimited, which—" Malfoy looked at his wrist and when he realized he didn't have his watch on, he clasped Arthur's wrist to look at the gold watch on his wrist. "Damn, it's started already. Just agree with Cain and try not to lose too much of my money."

"But about Narcissa," Arthur interrupted. "I don't want to lie to her."

Dumbledore moved over to Snape and peered into the cauldrons. One was already bubbling with the antidote and the other was making curious popping sounds.

"You stay on your end of the Manor and she'll stay on hers," snapped Lucius.

"Why?" asked Arthur.

"Because I said so," remarked Lucius sharply.

"So, you and your wife--" began Arthur, but his words ground to a halt when Lucius took a hasty step toward him. If Lucius had had a wand, Authur had no doubt he would have been a dead man.

In the silence the strange popping from the cauldron sounded loud as cannon fire. "Are you sure that potion is supposed to pop like that?" asked Lucius alarmed.

"Quite sure," said Dumbledore as he removed the lid from the cauldron and offered some popcorn to Snape, who sniffed and tasted a little puff of the treat as he waited for his other cauldron to be ready for the next ingredient.

Lucius wrinkled his nose and stalked towards the door.

"Well, that secrecy certainly won't work at the Burrow," said Arthur. "I mean Molly will know. I can't keep a secret like that from her. She probably already thinks that I'm acting rather peculiar."

Dumbledore had placed the warm cauldron on his lap and was eating popcorn by the handfuls. "It's really better with butter and salt," he confided to Severus, who immediately went to see if he had the required ingredients in his stores.

"She thinks nothing of the sort," said Lucius. "She seems to like playacting—"

Suddenly, Arthur Weasley's wand was under Lucius' nose. "If you sleep with my wife," he said in a cold hard voice, "I will see you in Azkaban."

"Don't worry," said Lucius. "You couldn't pay me to sleep with that—"

_Crack!_ Suddenly Lucius Malfoy in Arthur Weasley's body was covered with boils.

"Honestly, Weasley," said Lucius in a bored tone. "Funiculus? What is that? A first level spell?"

"Just a reminder," said Arthur as Dumbledore removed the spell "Leave my wife alone and I'll leave yours alone."

"Ha!" Lucius said. "I don't have to worry. My wife isn't a slut."

Hastily, Dumbledore procured wards between the two of them.

"Off you go," said Dumbledore ushering Arthur Weasley out of the door. "Do try to take care of Lucius Malfoy's money," said Dumbledore worriedly, as he conjured a bag and dumped some of the popcorn into it. "Perhaps the popcorn will help to calm your nerves, Arthur. It's a muggle treat."

"Really?" said Arthur taking a bite of the popcorn. "Be careful," Dumbledore warned. "I think he's more concerned about his money, than his wife." A moment later, Dumbledore was back in his office addressing a pacing Lucius Malfoy.

"Those Weasley brats took my wand," said Lucius. "I can't even apparate back to that hovel they call home. It's a wonder I got here with that fake wand! Albus, I could have been splinched over half the country!"

"Oh, the Weasley twins are quite inventive," said Snape between bites of popcorn.. "But not malicious. The wands are made to work within certain safety precautions. They just need a little discipline."

"Well," said Dumbledore hesitantly, "I will Apparate you back to the Burrow, Lucius, and you can take it from there. Do try to go easy on the boys though. It's not their fault you are in this predicament, and you do have to remember that they thought they played the wand trick on their own father not on you."

"And I will treat them like my very own sons," said Lucius from between clenched teeth.

"Very good," said Dumbledore with a frown. He hoped that was a good thing.

"Oh, I'm so glad you are back early," exclaimed Molly shoving one of the squalling babies into Lucius' arms. The other she propped on her hip with a bottle within reach of his questing lips as she charmed a spoon to stir a sauce on the stove and pointed her wand at a knife which flew through the air directly over Lucius' head in route to the bread that needed cut. "Bill and Fleur and the kids are coming for dinner too, and Penelope won't be back for the twins until after five so I told her and Percy that they may as well stay to supper too. Don't just stand there," she said glancing at the crying baby in his arms. "Give him his bottle."

"Never mind," she said as with another quick wave of her wand she poured the milk, did a heating charm and plopped the nipple into the child's screaming mouth. It was blessedly silent. "There, everything is started for dinner. How was your day?" she asked over her shoulder.

"Disasterous," he answered looking down at the baby in his arms. The little fellow was not red-headed. His hair was a soft strawberry blonde, much darker than Draco's at this age, but Lucius could not help be reminded of the handful of times he had actually held Draco before sending him off to be fed and cared for by house elves. He had never witnessed that blissful face that babies have when drouzing with a tummy full of warm milk.

"So why was your day disasterous?" asked Molly leaning close to him. "He could smell the scent of just baked bread on her skin along with some cinnamon like spice as she nuzzled his neck. A moment later, she had moved away, climbing the stairs. She was still carrying the baby. He followed her, whining slightly about the twins' fake wands.

"Well, if you didn't encourage them, Arthur, they wouldn't think they could get away with that sort of thing," said Molly with a sniff. "By the way, your real wand is on the nightstand. You notice they don't pull that sort of garbage with me. You've always been too soft on them."

"Perhaps you're right," said Lucius, with a smile, trying to imitate Arthur's easy going attitude. "So you wouldn't be upset if I played a little trick back on them?" he said, thinking he wanted to curse their sorry souls six ways to hell and back.

"I would be over-joyed," said Molly. "I've told you that before, but it shouldn't really be a trick. You are an adult, you know. You are their father, not their best mate. Sometimes you need to take a hard stand, or they will just run all over you." She started to take the second twin from his arms, but the baby had latched onto his index finger with a death grip and was reluctant to let go.

"It's OK," said Lucius surprising himself. "I'll hold him for another minute."

Molly scoffed. "You're going to start spoiling these twins too, I see."

"I'm not," said Lucius, immediately pulling his finger from the child's grasp and lying him in the crib. The baby scrunched up his face unhappily and then relaxed as Molly tucked the blanket around his small frame. Lucius couldn't help but wonder aloud about the blonde hair.

"Well all of Penelope's family is blonde. Of course, so is Fleur," said Molly, running her hand up and down his back.

Lucius' head was spinning. It was obvious that he should know who these women were, but he didn't. Penelope was obviously married to one of the Weasley's and the mother of the twins. Fleur was married to another. He didn't know which one.

"You had to think it would lighten up the Weasley red," Molly continued, "Are you disappointed that the Weasley red isn't entirely dominant?"

"No," Lucius said. "Of course not." Lucius stared down at the sleeping children thinking that Draco and Ginny's children would probably have the same strawberry blonde hair, and then he slapped the unwelcome thought away. No heir of his would have Weasley blood. He turned abruptly to leave and turned right into Molly Weasley's arms. "Now where were we this morning?" she asked in a sultry voice. Her rather ample bosum was pressed firmly against him as she raised her lips to his. He kissed her quickly, but she was not deterred. "The kids are asleep, and you have no where to go," she said as she backed him into their bedroom. His thoughts were firmly on the fact that Arthur Weasley would not forgive his sleeping with Molly. Although he wasn't afraid of Arthur, he knew that he had a whole month to spend with Molly and he didn't want to press his luck.

"But—It's the middle of the day," he sputtered.

She laughed at him as she pulled off his robe. "You are getting old, Arthur," she said.

"You can't do this," he admonished her sternly. "I'm not your husband. I'm Lucius Malfoy."

She sighed. "Well, I don't want to be Narcissa," she said as she shoved him back on the bed and straddled him. "How about if I'm one of your whores instead," she said.

Lucius Malfoy choked as Molly Weasley began licking and biting his neck and loosening his tie. "What do you want, Mr. Malfoy?" she cooed as she pulled the tie tight. Within moments her expert ministrations had him panting, This would never do, thought Lucius as he wrapped his arms around her and rolled her beneath him being careful this time to note where the edge of the bed was, but it was so small, they almost went off the edge anyway. He grasped her roughly and pulled her to himself to keep her on the bed.

She squealed. "Don't hurt me."

Lucius froze. "I don't hurt my women," he said icily.

"You have before, Mr. Malfoy—not that I'm complaining, mind you," she said warming to her role. "You pay well enough—"

Lucius was suddenly livid. All of his ardor quenched in her words. "I don't hurt my women," he said from beneath clenched teeth. "I don't hurt my wife, or my whores." His pride couldn't stand the thought that Molly thought he had to pay for women. He had of course done so when it was convenient, but he knew full well that he could have most any woman begging for his attentions with or without his money. Suddenly he didn't care that Arthur had promised to see him in Azkaban if he slept with his wife. He needed to prove to Molly Weasley that he was not some sort of monster that habitually hurt women. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said, kissing her softly as a butterfly wing.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy," she said, still steeped in the play.

"And I'm not going to pay you," he said breathing, and biting and sucking on her ear.

"But—" she began trying to wriggle out from under him, He noticed that her red hair had highlights that looked golden in the sun which was streaming through the window. It was without a doubt her best feature.

"Call me Lucius," he purred, running his fingers over the stiff cotton dress that covered her breasts., deciding that he would show Molly Weasley how the real Lucius Malfoy played this game, and Arthur Weasley be damned.

Her fingers went to the buttons that kept the collar of his shirt tightly against his neck, but Lucius laid a hand on hers. "Not yet," he whispered, pulling her arms around his waist and putting his hot lips against her cotton bodice. He looked into her brown eyes, dark with passion and promised himself that before he was done with her, the thrifty Molly Weasley would be so consumed by lust that she would be ripping the clothes from his body, unmindful of the cost. A tiny part of himself wished that it could be Narcissa instead of Molly.

There was a sharp crack of someone Apparating downstairs and then a murmur of voices. Lucius was instantly on his feet, grasping the Unicorn wand from the nightstand. _Where the hell were the wards in this house? Someone could just Apparate in just like that! Was Arthur out of his mind? How could those babies be safe? _

"Arthur," said Molly, with a sigh. "It's just the twins. They wanted to come over to play with the babies, although I do wish they had come over a little later." She sat on the bed, grinning foolishly at him. "Gosh, you are jumpy today. You must have had a rough day."

"Mum!" called one of the boys from downstairs, and both of the babies started to cry.

Molly sighed heavily. "Be right down," Molly called, running a hand through her hair and then pointing her wand at the bed. "**Accio**," she said, catching the clips that had fallen out of her hair . As she started to rearrange her hair, Lucius now noted the numerous streaks of gray that he hadn't seen before. Looking at Molly's tired, disheveled appearance he wondered what on earth consumed him a moment ago. He shuddered with the thought. The woman was fat, ugly and worse, a Weasley.

"I want to talk to the twins alone," said Lucius Malfoy in a voice that Arthur Weasley had never used.

"Yes, dear," said Molly, with a puzzled look. "I'll be busy with the babies for a few minutes anyway."

Lucius nodded once and Apparated from the bedroom to the kitchen.

Fred and George about jumped to the ceiling when their Dad Apparated between them.

"Bloody hell, Dad, you scared me," said Fred.

"Since when do you Apparate in the house?" said George annoyed

"Since now," said Lucius Malfoy coldly. "Which reminds me, from now on you will Apparate outside and use the front door to enter. I'm putting up Apparation wards later this afternoon."

"Why?" asked George.

"Because it's unsafe. Your mother is often here alone with the babies and I—" Lucius faltered, unsure exactly why he was doing this. Well, it was unsafe, he thought. _Hell, Death Eaters could Apparate right into the kitchen and snatch one of those children from under Molly's nose. Not that he cared…He could do the deed himself.._ "Because I said so," Lucius concluded sharply to cover his confusion. "and speaking of unsafe, those fake wands of yours need another charm on them to alert family members that they are fake."

"But why?" whined George. "They are so much fun."

"This is why," said Lucius, **"Expellaramus!"** George's wand flew to Lucius hand and Lucius tossed him one of the fake ones.

"Dad!" complained George.

In the next moment, Lucius turned George into a pigeon that fluttered towards the second floor, seeking escape, the fake wand, useless on the floor. Lucius watched the bird for a moment and then nonchalantly turned it back into George, who came crashing to the ground in a heap.

"Ow—I think I broke something," said George.

"Wrist," assessed Lucius, setting it, and as Molly rushed into the kitchen with a twin on each hip, he looked at her. "Do we have any ske-gro?" he asked calmly.

"You never were very good at medical charms, Arthur," said Molly amazed. "And if he needs ske-gro it is most certainly beyond you."

Lucius scowled at her. "The trapezium was crushed by his fall. I just removed the fragments."

"What fall?" snapped Molly. "What were you doing?"

"Flying," answered George, unwilling to get his father into trouble with his mother even though he was acting mighty strange today.

"Flying!" shouted Molly. "George Weasley!"

"It feels OK, Mum," said George, flexing his wrist, and staring at his dad. "Just like when Madam Pomfrey set it after I fell off of my broom last year, except I can't move my little finger"

"Well, you should know," said Molly with a frown as she handed the twins, one to Fred and one to Lucius and went to find the ske-gro.

"With the Dark Lord rising," Lucius told the twins, "I think it should be obvious that you need your wand with you at all times—your _real_ wand." Lucius shuddered to think what would have happened if he had been called to the Master and only had a haddock for a wand.

"The Dark Lord?" muttered George frowning.

"Sure, Dad," said Fred with a puzzled look.

"Yes, Father or Yes, Sir," corrected Lucius Malfoy and the twins stared at each other before answering. "Yes, Father."

Fred cleared his throat and grinned, trying to get back to the fun-loving father he was used to pranking. "I'm glad Mum isn't here," he said. "I wanted to tell you we had the best prank today. George was fooling around with the swamp and made it extend out the door and onto the sidewalk. Everyone was gathered around the front of the store staring at it. It made quite a hit.

"Outside," said Lucius confused. "Why ever would you put the swamp outside of the door?"

"Well, it was sort of an advertisement," said George. "Lots of people came to look."

"Did anyone _buy _anything?" asked Lucius.

"Well, no. Not more than usual," said Fred.

"Then your little experiment was a failure," snapped Lucius. "Who would want to walk over a swamp to get into the store? You're idiots."

"But—" began George.

"You should put something flashy and exciting outside and put the swamp inside to keep the customers from escaping," said Lucius with a sad shake of his head. "Idiots."

"Escaping?" said Fred. "From what?"

"From this," said Lucius, transfiguring the floor beneath Fred's feet into quicksand. Within a moment he was knee deep in the slime, and the baby he was holding started to cry. "Dad!" Fred shrieked, as he continued to sink.

"You do have a wand, don't you?" drawled Lucius, "Or are you only carrying around a slimy haddock like I was this afternoon?"

Fred fumbled the twin to his other hip and dug for his wand, as the quick sand creeped up to his torso. Once he had the wand in his hand, he hesitated. "What spell?" he asked his Dad.

"Oh any number of things would work," said Lucius in a lazy voice as he settled himself and the other twin on a kitchen chair in front of the fire. "You'll think of something." Actually, he was sure his own son would think of something to stop the sinking into the quicksand, but he wasn't that sure of the Weasley's. -Oh well, the world could do with two less Weasley's anyway, Lucius thought.

"Dad!" Fred hoisted the twin he was holding onto his shoulder, and pronounced, **"Aridus!"**

The quicksand around his feet dried up and Fred clumsily climbed out of the dusty hole in the middle of the kitchen.

"You cannot leave this mess in the middle of your mother's floor." said Lucius coldly.

"I didn't put it there," snapped Fred.

Lucius didn't even blink. **"Accio,"** he said, Snatching the twin from Fred's hands, and catching him under his arm like a quaffle. **"Syrtis** " and Fred was once again in the quicksand, but this time he was neck deep and sinking.

"Aaaakk!" Fred squalked. "Dad!"

The floo burned brightly and Fleur and Bill stepped through holding their two toddlers and calling hello to everyone. The noise level was deafening, and suddenly Lucius couldn't handle it any more. What was he doing here? He needed some quiet time to sort out his thoughts.

"Tell your mother I've forgotten something at work," said Lucius as he handed the two now crying babies to George who apparently had inherited his mother's knack for holding a baby on each hip even though a bone was missing from his wrist. He was jostling the second twin frightfully trying to get his weight balanced, but Lucius didn't care.

He couldn't wait to get away from the annoying family atmosphere. Unfortunately, Fleur had put her toddler down on the kitchen floor and the child immediately flung himself at Lucius Malfoy.

"Pap Pap. Broom!" he exclaimed, blue eyes bright with excitement, and his red hair bouncing as he jumped up and down.

"He's been so excited since you told him you would take him for a ride, Dad," explained Bill. "It's all he can talk about—"

Bill broke off as his eyes settled on Fred who had tilted his head back so that only his face was exposed to the air, the rest of him was completely immersed in something-- "Fred, what have you done?" called Bill alarmed.

"Broom! Broom! Broom!" the toddler insisted, pulling on Lucius' robe. "Broom now!" He stomped his little foot petulantly.

"Don't you teach your little imps any manners," snarled Lucius Malfoy as he shoved the toddler away from him.

"Dad?" said Bill, confused, but Lucius Malfoy had already Disapparated leaving the noise and chaos of the Weasley clan behind.


End file.
